You're completely useless in the revolution.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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