Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
