If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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