This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
