I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
