I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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