i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
