like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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