Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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