Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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