if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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