do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
