did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
