dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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