Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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