No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Randomize