The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
