Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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