So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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