Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
