it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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