just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
