Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
