All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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