How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize