Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
