They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
