barbara walters just said penis...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
