So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
