wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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