oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
