my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
