why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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