he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
You are a genius and a whore.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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