She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
