dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize