Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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