At least make sure they are 18
Why
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
