Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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