Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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