Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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