clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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