We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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