i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
