Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
