Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
