brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
