he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
