I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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