idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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