i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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