No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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