I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
operation harelip BJ is a go
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
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