return my video game
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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