no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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