im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
