I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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