there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
