Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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