In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just threw up on my dentist
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
